I Hate It, I Love It, Now Write!

I Hate It, I Love It, Now Write!
Current mood: pirate

For as long as I can remember, I have had really vivid and elaborate dreams. I remember waking up once when I was little after having this awesome dream about getting a HUGE doll house for my birthday and being utterly and completely pissed of that it had not really happened. The dream, as with many of them, had been so real. I could walk up to this stupid dollhouse and touch it, seeing all of the details clearly. This tendency toward realism, of course, applied to scary dreams as well. That sucked. I had these recurring nightmares about some monster. In one dream the monster bit my leg, and I woke up feeling a tingling in my leg where he had bitten me. It is so bizarre how powerful the mind is over the body.

What's interesting is that I rarely have nightmares anymore but still have these elaborate storylines playing out in my sleep. And the funny thing is, it had made me talk in my sleep a LOT. Sorry Michelle! Sorry Brandon! Michelle, my former college roommate and super awesome friend, used to tell me about the numerous times I would do this. I had a test for the hardest class I have ever taken and had spent days studying for this MONSTER of all tests. I spent all of one night cramming this info into my brain about numerous Hindu gods, The Mahabharata, and sacred texts. So, when I went to sleep, what else should I dream about but all the stuff on my test? But it was much more than that. I dreamt about walking around in this huge columned building with blue mist swirling around me. And out from behind the columns would come Krishna, Arjun, Ganesh, and all the other gods I had studied, whispering to me about their lives and their attributes. It was utterly bizarre, like a movie scene, planned out and perfectly flowing. I am still surprised to this day that I had that dream. And, Michelle heard me talking in my sleep that night. lol.

Fast forward a few years later and I was pregnant and working at Arvest, the bank. I had to learn so much crap about money handling, banking processes, and even a bit of Spanish on the side since I was the once other person at my bank who knew it. For the few months I worked there, all I could dream about was the stinkin' bank transactions I made all day. And the Spanish phrases I had to learn to us. Apparently that made the perfect conditions for me to speak Spanish in my sleep. No kidding.

And then I found myself reading about Stephenie Meyer, author of some vastly entertaining books, and how she had taken one vivid dream and turned it into a story. And I loved that. I started thinking about some of the dreams that have really stuck with me. Were any of them worth exploring to see whether or not there was a story there? Absolutely. After I realized this, I began having even more dreams with bizarrly connected storylines. It's weird and cool. So for some time now, I have really been enjoying and appreciating this... gift of sorts that allows me to have fun dreams.

And yet...
Lately one storyline won't go away. I don't want to write it and yet it keeps persisiting. I almost want to be able to turn off my brain. Because, as much as one may think one knows themselves, the brain can really bring up some things that... I dunno, are unhelpful, bothersome, and make you uncomfortable with your own psyche.