???

Why am I the only one up at this hour??? What happened to all you crazy college peeps staying up all night, avoiding your homework??? Why is Brandon, an even more extreme night owl than myself, passed out right now, snoring happily??? The internet just makes me lonely. I quit.

Computers 'n Such

Hurrah!

Google reader has recently revolutionized my life. Okay, maybe it's just revolutionized my internet experience, but it still rocks! I can now check just one page to see whether or not a whole mess of blogs have been updated. Check it out at reader.google.com. 'Tis awesome. Wren, it's how I knew so quickly that you updated your writing blog! hehe

I think being human means we are confused. There are so many wars being fought within. I think the mind versus instinct, the will versus evolutionary compulsion is one of the worst fights. I waffle between being a complete animal and an intellectual.

Today I received one of the nicest and most thoughtful letters I have ever been given. My dear friend Michelle really lifted my spirits and made me miss her even more by taking the time to write to me. I'm so grateful for her and for so many of the friends who have been my family over the years. I certainly would have gone crazy long before now if not for my friends.

I love the weekend. Today was my day to sleep in, so I actually did NOT need to nap with Bowen. I could just waste my free time on something as useless and timedump-tastic as this here interwebs! Lately, Bowen has been teething up a storm. He has gotten four, count 'em, four dang molars in at one time. Yikes. He hasn't been sleeping well because of it; consequently, neither has Momma.

Brandon recently got an iMac after a long a drawn out fiasco with a crappy laptop we bought that came with Vista. Blech. We officially hate Windows, the bane of all sensible computer users, and decided to convert to the Mac religion. I cannot tell you how much I love that computer. It is so freakin' cool, I want to steal it from him! Get this: My computer takes at least ten minutes to turn on, boot totally, and be ready to go. It takes at least five to shut of completely, sometimes more when it is updating. Brandon's iMac... takes 25 seconds to turn on. Really. It is fully loaded and connected to the internet that fast. And, guess what. It takes 5, count 'em FIVE SECONDS to shut off. This is only a taste of the superiority of that darn machine. When we got the computer, there were no long hours spent on loading it, setting it up, customizing the setting. Oh no, sir. It was on, online, and fully loaded in five to ten minutes. I have never seen anything like it in my life.

Sooo, we decided we needed a new desk to accommodate Brandon's new computer. We decided to make one ourselves after finding a basic plan online. It is really simple but awesome. I think we will probably be done painting and finishing it this weekend. I'll post pictures and explain more later.

Much love,
New Mac Convert

The Return

Back from Christmas traveling, back on Tumblr, recovering from being sick.

I just got to talk to Lauren, probably my oldest friend, with whom I have not talked in years. We grew up in good ol’ BA together, getting into so much trouble and having so much fun. Her mom was the first real surrogate parent I had. Her mom was the first of many to come who shaped my life into something much brighter than my home life. Her mom was the first suicide I ever knew, the first of many which irrevocably formed my feelings about death, loss, grief, life…

Because of the hustle and bustle of life, we lost touch after our first year of college. We still kind of kept up with each other over the internet from e-mail and blogs. It was so great to chat with her. We are planning on getting together while we are still on Christmas break since she is only two hours away for the duration.

It’s unnerving talking to her. It’s the most mixed experience. At once I feel weird and uncertain because we were so different the last time I saw her in person. And yet, it is the most fun and familiar feeling talking to her again because we both know so much about each other. When you know someone from such an early age you truly know who they are, what they are composed of, what is fundamental to their person. It is so natural to fall back into the familiarity of our friendship and yet the diplomatic adult in me suggests that I must proceed with caution lest I offend someone whose outward manners have changed.

How funny we humans are. We change, yet stay the exact same, and change again.

I Hate It, I Love It, Now Write!

I Hate It, I Love It, Now Write!
Current mood: pirate

For as long as I can remember, I have had really vivid and elaborate dreams. I remember waking up once when I was little after having this awesome dream about getting a HUGE doll house for my birthday and being utterly and completely pissed of that it had not really happened. The dream, as with many of them, had been so real. I could walk up to this stupid dollhouse and touch it, seeing all of the details clearly. This tendency toward realism, of course, applied to scary dreams as well. That sucked. I had these recurring nightmares about some monster. In one dream the monster bit my leg, and I woke up feeling a tingling in my leg where he had bitten me. It is so bizarre how powerful the mind is over the body.

What's interesting is that I rarely have nightmares anymore but still have these elaborate storylines playing out in my sleep. And the funny thing is, it had made me talk in my sleep a LOT. Sorry Michelle! Sorry Brandon! Michelle, my former college roommate and super awesome friend, used to tell me about the numerous times I would do this. I had a test for the hardest class I have ever taken and had spent days studying for this MONSTER of all tests. I spent all of one night cramming this info into my brain about numerous Hindu gods, The Mahabharata, and sacred texts. So, when I went to sleep, what else should I dream about but all the stuff on my test? But it was much more than that. I dreamt about walking around in this huge columned building with blue mist swirling around me. And out from behind the columns would come Krishna, Arjun, Ganesh, and all the other gods I had studied, whispering to me about their lives and their attributes. It was utterly bizarre, like a movie scene, planned out and perfectly flowing. I am still surprised to this day that I had that dream. And, Michelle heard me talking in my sleep that night. lol.

Fast forward a few years later and I was pregnant and working at Arvest, the bank. I had to learn so much crap about money handling, banking processes, and even a bit of Spanish on the side since I was the once other person at my bank who knew it. For the few months I worked there, all I could dream about was the stinkin' bank transactions I made all day. And the Spanish phrases I had to learn to us. Apparently that made the perfect conditions for me to speak Spanish in my sleep. No kidding.

And then I found myself reading about Stephenie Meyer, author of some vastly entertaining books, and how she had taken one vivid dream and turned it into a story. And I loved that. I started thinking about some of the dreams that have really stuck with me. Were any of them worth exploring to see whether or not there was a story there? Absolutely. After I realized this, I began having even more dreams with bizarrly connected storylines. It's weird and cool. So for some time now, I have really been enjoying and appreciating this... gift of sorts that allows me to have fun dreams.

And yet...
Lately one storyline won't go away. I don't want to write it and yet it keeps persisiting. I almost want to be able to turn off my brain. Because, as much as one may think one knows themselves, the brain can really bring up some things that... I dunno, are unhelpful, bothersome, and make you uncomfortable with your own psyche.